i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
