I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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