Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
