Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
