I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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