My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
