there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
