i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
