i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
