I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
