One girl and one boy is just not enough.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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