I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
