You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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