addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
