Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
