But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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