Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
