just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
