The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
