never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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