I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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