nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Where did you get a picture of my penis
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
