He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
