i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
