just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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