brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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