New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
