remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
