Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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