First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
