How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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