you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
