i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
