ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
