dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
