I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
