u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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