I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
