this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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