But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
