am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
