I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
