He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
