You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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