the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
