i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
