I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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