Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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