i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
