I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
