Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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